The Comics returned to winning ways, despite once again playing with ten for a large part of the game. With a few key men returning, Sedcopians never looked like winning, especially once Coops drilled home following an unselfish pass from Scotty. One nil at half-time, the Comics found themselves virtually down to nine, as first Tommy got a dead leg, and then G saw red for hurling some big fool halfway across the pitch. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, and G can feel proud for his first knockdown, having been unable to manage the feat in his humbling loss to the UBS pen-pusher. Just when it looked like we might drop more points, Bainsy scored a fine individual goal to seal matters. Three goals in the last three minutes capped a fine rearguard action, as Tommy coasted through the pain barrier and half their team, and then Coops and Scotty headed home. The boys found time to unwind in the lounge bar among the throw pillows and chase longes, a fine place for hospitality, which was just missing a couple of hookers. Bainsy and Si chose to warm down post-drinks with a marathon in search of a train station, "but that's wot i fink bainsy wood do". :D

This was less Economicals versus Mickleham, more Civilisation versus the Mesozoic era. The Comics made a sluggish start against a team that seemed composed from a sketch show, and a combination of poor passing, sloppy finishing and basic mistakes meant it was only one nil at half time, courtesy of a calm finish by Bainsy. However, the second half brought a change of fortune, less to do with an improvement in our own play, but more that their elderly steam trains hit the buffers and their Ali G impersonators started thinking about their respective Julies. Bainsy completed a hat-trick, including the statutory 'diving header' that again sounds good but was rubbish, Tommy and Mo got two each and Coops also nabbed a cheap one. Scoring was made easier by the opponents' bizarre game plan of just appealing for imaginary fouls/offsides. Chumps. Even old man Gollogly robbed one of them. So, a typical Comics performance, right down to Si having an Elephant Man-style facial complaint.

A forgettable game, certainly by me, as I don't remember it, wandering around for 45 minutes in a drunken haze, unable to get the sight of Old Man Gollogly's work at the Stoke Mandeville Hospital Burns Unit the night before. They were not great (four leagues below), but had a great spirit and battled hard. We think we're good, but on this occasion for sure, were not. It made for an odd game, very scrappy and awful to watch. Despite this, most of us chose to watch the first half rather than get involved. Tommy scored, Mo scored (after everyone else stopped), 2-0 half-time. Mo completed a hat-trick in the second half with a screamer, and Stants came off the bench to grab two cheap ones. They got a consolation, but into the next round of the cup we go.

The Comics suffered a hefty defeat against a strong Witan side, after falling apart in the second half. The opposition took an early lead when Boz tripped their winger in the box, but the Comics roared back with three goals in five minutes, through a penalty from Bainsy, a tap in from Tommy and then the goal of the game when Mo's pinpoint 50 yard ball found Bainsy, who calmly chipped the oncoming keeper. Witan pulled one back just before the end of the first half, and we knew we had a game on our hands. Then it all went wrong. They were first to everything and massively up for it, while we were lacklustre, made basic mistakes and failed to compete all round the pitch. Most games this season will be like this, and we have to get back to basics and do the simple things right. They were a very good side - strong, big and fast - but no team should maul us like that, and it must not happen again.  

After last week's debacle, the Comics bounced back with a spirited performance to do the double over Sedcopians. It didn't look good in the run-up to the match, with Miller withdrawing to witness the birth of his daughter - that's Coops' 50th birthday present sorted - and G's mate dropping out both late in the day. When Stelios, pinched from the firsts, went off early in the first half, it did not look good. Bainsy finished nicely from Tommy's smart pass, and added a penalty when they handled in the box. But even at 2-0 up, with ten men and Boz at centre-back, this was a very loseable game. However, all battled hard this week, with Cyril outstanding - setting up one and saving another - and Boz composed in his new role, it was fairly comfortable. Tommy added a third after beating the offside trap, a just reward for his efforts around the park, and we won't mention Coops' header, reminiscent of Sinjuns on the last day two years ago. Scotty saw red near the end along with one of their poshos after an argument over which home counties hardman had the best handbag, leaving the remaining nine men to finish the game with new-found friendship and harmony.      

A 2-2 draw with the old rivals, which could be seen as two points dropped or a point gained, depending on whether you are part of Boz and Bainsy's 'free love' brigade or Scotty's boot camp. The Comics took a two-goal lead within the first 20 minutes courtesy of two nice strikes from Bainsy, but an already scratch side was further weakened by an injury to Si, leaving the booze brothers from the thirds to fill in. Dave T and Healy performed admirably though, and generally it was a decent performance. However, a mix-up between Rob and the loon let in Kings for a soft goal, and then Rob blundered again in the second half to allow an equaliser. We had a few chances to win, but in all fairness got what we deserved.

And so to the team night out. Coops stopped by police. Coops and Rob called 'sad losers' by pint-pot strippers. Bainsy: "I was really hurt by your criticism". Bainsy stopped by police. G and Scotty hitting each other. Bainsy pulling a 17-year-old. G, asleep in a toilet cubicle, trousers round his ankles and cock in hand, being filmed by a gang of schoolkids on their phones.       

The Comics recorded an easy victory to march on to the next round of the cup. Against a team from three divisions below, it was a contest for the first half as they battled gamely, and we went in two goals up with numerous chances missed. As they tired, we strolled away with it in the second half, adding a further six. Steffen returned to the side after a lengthy absence and scored the first with a smart finish from Rob's cross - poetry in motion it was. Then followed the Mo show, as the Mexican maestro struck four times, including a couple of tidy strikes. Bainsy got his standard two goals for the fourth game running, and I can't remember who got the last...

Oh yes, that's right. It says something about the standard of the oppo when a ruminating cow that was grazing alongside the pitch suddenly starts doing step-overs, Cruyff turns, mazy dribbles and delightful dinks. That's how he saw the wrecking ball performance anyway. And as a cross bounced off a corner of his cube head to complete the scoring, the gloating that would inevitably ensue made us long for him to fall asleep on the toilet again.    

The Comics signed off in 2006 with a hard-fought win, coming from behind to edge a scrappy game in the last ten minutes. A bright start should have brought an early goal, but then Chislehurst Sports put their own stamp on the game and took control. They were a team straight out of the premiership, full of aggression, moaning and cheating...the only way to tell the difference was that fat blokes in replica shirts were playing at the back rather than throwing coins in the stands. But it was not an undeserved lead they took just before half-time with a fine header, such was the lack of quality in the Comics passing and the lack of composure in the penalty box.