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Economicals 2nds
Captain: Drew Barrand                07776242904                       
League table                              Black and blue striped shirts, black shorts, black socks

 

Date L/C H/A Opposition Result Scorers
15/09/07 C H Kew II 2-3 James C, Stanners
22/09/07 L H Guildford II 6-0 Bainsy (2), Harry (2), Cooke, Drew
06/10/07 C A Old Oundelians 6-0 Cyril (3), Cooke, Gaz, og
13/10/07 L A Guildford II 3-1 Gaz (2), Harry
20/10/07 L H Sinjuns OG III 1-0 Stanners
27/10/07 L A Marsh 1-4 James C
03/11/07 L A Witan II 4-1 Drew, Stanners, Cooke, og
10/11/07 C A Glyn OB III 4-0 Stanners, James, Alex, Cooke
17/11/07 L A Old Tiffs II 0-0  
24/11/07 L H Wokingians II 4-1 Harry, Will, Gav (pen), Cooke
01/12/07 L A Dorkingians II 2-2 Drew, James C
15/12/07 L A Suttonians IV 0-1  
05/01/08 L A Sinjuns OG III 0-3  
26/01/08 L H Dorkingians II 0-3 Drew, Gav, Gaz
09/02/08 C H Mill Hill Vill. II 3-2 Bainsy (3)
16/02/08 C A Camdenians II 2-6 Ricky (2)
23/02/08 L A Clapham OX IV 6-4 Bainsy (3), Ricky, James, JK
01/03/08 L H Old Tiffs II 3-3 Drew, Healy, Gav
08/03/08 L H Clapham OX IV 2-1 Drew, Bainsy
15/03/08 L H Marsh 3-3 Bainsy 2, Billy
29/03/08 L A Wokingians II 2-5 Sam, Healy
05/04/08 L H Suttonians IV 2-0 Drew, Cooke
12/04/08 L H Witan II 4-1 Bainsy 3, Drew
           

 

15/09/07 Team     Economicals II 2 Kew Association II 3
1 Alex Simcox  

The new-look Economicals second team kicked off the season with a tricky cup tie at home to Kew. On a hot, sunny, stamina-sapping day, the Comics were somewhat bemused to discover that Kew had decided to field an experimental side, namely their Under 18s. Right from the off it was clear that we were going to spend much of the afternoon endlessly chasing small boys across the park, which incidentally was to be the basis of a Chris Langham sketch and one that he researched assiduously. First blood was however drawn by the Comics when James neatly dabbed home. Unfortunately injuries meant that the Comics were forced to make both substitutions early on, the second of which saw Captain Kavanagh withdrawn with concussion following a nasty bump to his head, adding new meaning to the phrase "another forgettable Drew performance". The second half began in a similar fashion to the first with Comics busily chasing shadows across the field, none more so than in the middle of midfield from where "The Beast" was heard to complain that he couldn't get close enough to kick them. Soon after Comics were made to pay for the lack of a specialist goalkeeper when Al, who otherwise performed admirably, fumbled to allow a Kew equaliser. With the home side beginning to tire and the scores deadlocked, Comics began to fear the prospect of extra time. Fortunately for all involved, Rossi stepped up to the plate and gifted the opposition two goals to effectively end the contest. The first down to lazy marking and the second via his trademark calm, perfectly weighted pass to the feet of the on-rushing attacker. However, there was still time for Stanners to play a one-two off the opposition keeper for a late consolation, whereby he refused to fetch the ball from the net on the grounds that the team should be celebrating his individual achievement. Perhaps on another day we might have prevailed, but in truth Kew were fitter, sharper and played the better football. Still the league season begins next week and team left Berrylands in high spirits following the announcement, not of a major transfer coup in the signing of one Dave Bains, but due to the fact that Gav can't play next week.

2 Simon Rowlands  
3 Gav Russell  
4 Gaz Russell  
5 Ross Harkness  
6 Tom Stansfield
7 Drew Barrand  
8 Paul Taylor  
9 Paul Beaton  
10 James Collyer
11 Dennis Nelson  
12 Harry Stoakes  
13 Patrick  
22/09/07 Team     Economicals II 6 Old Guildfordians II 0
1 Nick Demetriou  

Champagne football. This is how football should be played. Buoyed by some promising pre-season form, Comics gave the opposition a lesson in passing football in a totally one-sided opening game. A strong squad meant that the hype surrounding summer signing Bainsy was put on the back burner as the lethal striker began his career with the ‘Northerners’ on the bench. Right from the kick-off, Comics were into their stride, led by an impressive performance from James, who gave a textbook lesson in how to lead the line. Within the first 10 minutes, Comics should have been a couple of goals to the good as first Captain Kavanagh was punched in the face in the box – a blatant Tyson-like assault that somehow the ref missed – and then James narrowly missed the target. The floodgates soon opened – a cheeky header from Kav was quickly followed by a headed goal from Harry as the Comics turned their possession into goals. Not even injuries to Drew and Simon could halt the one-sided nature of the game – somewhat predictably the loss of the skipper to a six-week injury lay-off proving to be more a blessing than a curse. Bainsy arrived on the pitch and gave an indication of what the future may hold as he completely bamboozled the oppo defence to square for Harry who finished with aplomb for his second of the game. The second half was a walkover as Bainsy scored twice and Cookie got his first of the season to indicate the Comics’ strength in depth up front. We could even cope with playing with 10 men as Will was allowed to hobble off injured despite Stanners desperately claiming that his own injury was life-threatening. Hopes are high for a title challenge…could this be the year for silverware?

2 Simon Rowlands  
3 Will Taylor  
4 Gaz Russell  
5 Ross Harkness  
6 Tom Stansfield  
7 Drew Barrand
8 Paul Taylor  
9 Dave Tanner  
10 James Collyer  
11 Harry Stoakes ☻2
12 Neil Cooke
13 Dave Bains ☻2
14 Craig Harris  
06/10/07 Team     Old Oundelians 0 Economicals II 6
1 Pete Wright  

Another week, another 6-0 hammering. The loss of the skipper, both squad goalkeepers, the record summer signing, and two pivotal defenders – well, Si and Ross – couldn’t stop the Comics from another impressive performance and through to the next round of the LOB Cup. Bizarrely this season has seen the Comics become the set-piece kings, with Gaz Russell’s rosy forehead consistently getting to the ball first – if only he could direct his header anywhere near the goal this could have been double figures. It took a bizarre own goal to initially turn the Comics superiority into points as Gav Russell fooled the opposition keeper and himself with a ricochet strike reminiscent of a pinball machine. Despite his claims of a ‘pure strike’, the second-best left foot in the Amateur Football Combination could not sway the judging panel who roundly labelled it an own goal. In the second half the Comics continued to pour forward and the award of a clear penalty should have allowed Gaz to put the game beyond doubt – sadly his feet are as bad as his head with their directional compass as an appalling penalty smacked against the right hand post. A corner enabled Gaz to spare his blushes and finally get on the scoresheet but in truth one goal from at least a dozen clear chances is not the sort of return you’d look for. Substitute Cyril’s Gallic flair ensured that the result was never in doubt – a swift second half hat-trick perhaps just enough for the squad to forget the inordinate amount of time he took to actually put his boots on. Cookie rounded off a solid all-round display with the sixth goal – the sex pest clearly translating his habit of scoring cheap goals in easy wins from Saturday night to Saturday afternoon. Pub time and cue the bragging that we can go through the season unbeaten. Waving the Aussies out of the pub after rugby defeat further added to the swagger and bravado with which the Comics so about their business. Arrogance? Surely not…

2 Alex Simcox  
3 Will Taylor  
4 Gaz Russell
5 Craig Harris  
6 Tom Stansfield  
7 Paul Beaton  
8 Paul Taylor  
9 Gav Russell  
10 Neil Cooke
11 Harry Stoakes  
12 Mike Nelson  
13 Cyril Alvarez-Pereyre ☻3
13/10/07 Team     Old Guildfordians II 1 Economicals II 3
1 Nick Demetriou  

The eccentricities of the fixture generating machine meant that Comics' second league game of the season saw them travel to Guildford, their opponents from the opening day. Having drubbed the opposition 6-0 last time it was always going to be difficult to avoid complacency, and judging by the opening half hour, complacency was the least of our problems. Poor passing, decision making and an overall lack of appetite meant that Guildford looked the stronger outfit even if they were unable to produce a decent opening. As is now worryingly becoming the norm for the Seconds, injuries  meant two substitutions were required early on with 'The Beast', who looked anything but, retiring after 10 minutes and Stanners feigning injury soon after to avoid the shame of being withdrawn on merit in front of his watching father. However, the injuries proved a blessing in disguise as Harry was moved into the middle of midfield and Bainsy came on up top. In a scrappy game Harry was able to stamp his authority and went on to produce a man of the match display. Bainsy looked lively and if he manages to score as many goals this season as the number of times that he is caught offside he'll prove a fine acquisition.

The Comics are fast becoming a team most potent from set-pieces and the combination of one red-faced twin providing and the other red-faced twin finishing meant that the Comics went in at half-time 2-0 up very much against the run of play. The second half saw an improvement in performance but the seconds never reached the standards they attained in the previous meeting. However, a third goal was added when Bainsy received the ball from a throw in, turned the defender in a manner that reminded some spectators of that forgotten "star" striker Gloria Hunniford and provided the cross for Harry to finish.  Guildford managed a deserved consolation late on, following some poor Comics defending, and the only other notable incident was provided by Rossi, who managed to throw up twice during the second 45. An interesting method of trying to win his starting berth back following a holiday, that many believe began mid-way through last season. Still, three points in the bag but the Litmus test will be next Saturday when superior opposition should give us a better idea of where we stand.    

2 Will Taylor  
3 Craig Harris  
4 Gaz Russell ☻2
5 Alex Simcox  
6 Tom Stansfield  
7 Paul Beaton  
8 Paul Taylor  
9 Gav Russell  
10 Neil Cooke  
11 Harry Stoakes
12 Ross Harkness  
13 Dave Bains  
14 Simon Rowlands  
20/10/07 Team     Economicals II 1 Sinjuns OG III 0
1 Nick Demetriou  

"Sure I am this day we are masters of our fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strength; that its pangs and toils are not beyond our endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and an unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied us." Although Winston Churchill may not have been directly referring to winning the Amateur Football Combination Division 3 (South) league title, it is this same bulldog belief and determination that is transforming this Comics side from perennial underachievers into genuine title contenders. Indeed, so well is Paul Taylor carrying out his role of caretaker captain, that it is not foolhardy to compare his rapid promotion to that of the great Mr Churchill himself, becoming Prime Minister in 1940. While he might not be consistently churning out those slightly above mediocre performances on the pitch that saw him voted player of the season last year, his evolution off the pitch into a great leader and master tactician is almost complete. It was Taylor's decision to turn Stanners into an emergency striker that proved the masterstroke that sealed the game in Comics favour. Not only did Stanners coolly slot home the only goal of the game, but the Comics were able to play with far better shape due to not having the handicap of a right-sided midfielder constantly out of position.

The game itself was highly competitive and always tense with Sinjuns proving to be a strong, well organised, footballing side. Last season the end result might have seen a Comics loss but this year the side is playing with greater desire, has learnt to shout things like 'man on' and 'time' and has developed, whisper it quietly, a winning mentality. Right across the pitch the side battled superbly, notably Ross, who has gone some way to answer recent criticism, and Nick the Greek, who picked up the man of the match award for an assured performance between the sticks. So, three wins in three for the table-topping Second team. Can the run continue? Will Captain Kavanagh dare to pick himself now he is fit? Will Gaz decided to kick any more dogs? Find out next week. 

2 Will Taylor  
3 Craig Harris  
4 Gaz Russell  
5 Simon Rowlands  
6 Tom Stansfield
7 Ross Harkness  
8 Paul Taylor  
9 Gav Russell  
10 James Collyer  
11 Harry Stoakes  
12 Dave Tanner  
27/10/07 Team     Marsh 4 Economicals II 1
1 Nick Demetriou  

Saturday saw the less-than-eagerly-awaited return of Captain Kavanagh from injury as the Comics were forced to reshuffle the pack that had been performing so admirably in his absence. With Harry and the Russell twins away there was enough room to accommodate returns for Drew himself, Dennis (following a sabbatical in non-league football) and also 'The Beast', who returned from a self-imposed exile following the publication of a less-than-flattering photo of a past conquest. The image ending any further debate among the team as to the origin of the moniker 'The Beast'. The top of the table clash against a strong Marsh team was always going to be extremely tough and the situation was exacerbated by the failure of the league-appointed ref to turn up. When you pay a bloke in the car park £10 to ref the game something tells you that there might be a few dodgy decisions. Still the game started like so many others this season with Stanners departing injured in the opening five minutes. The opening 20 minutes saw the Comics play some of their worst football of the season. They were unable to find a black and white shirt with the ball, didn't track their runners and were generally second best in all aspects of the game. That they found themselves only two nil down was mainly down to luck, some poor finishing from Marsh and the odd bit of good goalkeeping from Nick. Finally the Comics began to play and were a tad unfortunate to not pull one back after a fine effort from Bainsy that was superbly saved by the Marsh keeper. A second good chance was wasted, this time by Dennis with his first touch of the game following an injury to Tanner. This second substitution meaning that 57% of Comics substitutions this season have been made in the first 45 minutes. With Comics now looking comfortable, albeit 2-0 down, disaster struck on the stroke of half-time. A free kick was swung across and following Nick's fumble Simon calmly watched as his man ran forward to slot home into the empty net. A heated half-time inquest was followed by a marked improvement in the Comics performance although the contest was decided after a particularly dubious penalty was awarded to Marsh. James managed to pull back a deserved consolation goal for the Comics and there might have been more, most notably through an audacious attempt by 'The Beast' who was otherwise again below par. So the Comics slip from the top of the table but can’t have too much to complain about as they were simply beaten by a superior side on the day. All that was left was for the team to agree on the train ride home that losing Gaz and Harry for such a big game was unfortunate, but as for Gav? We weren't that bad.  

2 Will Taylor  
3 Craig Harris  
4 Paul Beaton  
5 Simon Rowlands  
6 Tom Stansfield  
7 Ross Harkness  
8 Paul Taylor  
9 Dave Bains  
10 James Collyer
11 Dave Tanner  
12 Drew Barrand  
13 Dennis Nelson  
14 Andy  
03/11/07 Team     Witan II 2 Economicals II 4
1 Nick Demetriou  

The machine clicked back into gear with the return of key players – in ascending order – Cookie, Gaz and Gav. After last week’s embarrassment, the Comics were determined to get back to winning ways – which is exactly what they did. A fantastic opening goal by Drew, which according to the opening scorer, ‘had a touch of Bergkamp against Newcastle’ (read – lucky spinning ball and cool finish) put the Comics 1-0 up. Our outgoing captain (via retirement or coup d'état) subsequently celebrated with a nose dive into the pitch that was meant to be Klinsmann but was more Flight 93. A ridiculous head burn – similar to the one he got as a young man in a gay fetish club in Vauxhall – was his reward. After the goal Drew returned to his usual tired performance and was replaced by Tommy S at half time – another member of the Northern Mafia who ‘apparently’ had been released by Rafa’s Liverpool to aid our quest (the reality being a run-fatboy-run who chased shadows and rubbed his nipples when no one was watching). The game was tightly contested in the first half with the mighty Comics relying on our trademarked ‘steely banks of 4’ formation to grind the opposition into submission (other than last week’s aberration). This paid dividends when, just before half-time, a destined Gav Russell free kick, deflected off the wall, smacked the post, which Stanners dived on to make it 2-0.

Half time came, the Comics were 2-0 up, and the second half descended into the usual rubbishy Beazer Homes conference football (more reminiscent of Fulham across the river) than Drew’s Black and White Army. A mistake by Greek (rushing off the line Calamity style), and a mistake by Alex saw the inferior Witans (aided by one of the player’s fathers performing refereeing duties in between bouts of Witan-cock sucking) score two undeserved goals in the second half, while an o.g and a stunner by Cookie (side footing from the edge of the area into the top right hand corner), ensured that the Comics ran out comfortable winners.

 

2 Ross Harkness  
3 Gav Russell  
4 Alex Simcox  
5 Simon Rowlands  
6 Tom Stansfield
7 Gaz Russell  
8 Paul Taylor  
9 Neil Cooke
10 James Collyer  
11 Drew Barrand
12 Tommy S  
13 Dennis Nelson  
10/11/07 Team     Glyn OB III 0 Economicals II 4
1 Riccles  

A break from the league saw the Comics keep the travelling roadshow moving (will we ever return to the Fortress?) with a contest against the underclass with their bazzed up sh*tty cars and their Tina/Trisha/Sharon girlfriends. A comfortable win (although the opposition did blaze a penalty over the bar and hit the post four times) saw the bull-dozers of Cookie and James easily push their way past an ageing defence, and see the Comics into the last 16 of the Cup. Cookie was particularly impressive given that he turned up fully-cut and was bellowing at his own seedy sex jokes in the presence of innocent families and children on the train out to Pikesville (not the sort of middle class behaviour that is tolerated by the Economicals AFC). Ankle of Glass (JC) had a nasty tackle on his brittle bones, but subsequent weeks have shown that his Father shines down upon him (as He does us all) and ensured that our big target man will carry on regardless (and away with the Player of the Season award). A great opener by Stanners, two deserved goals by the Bulldozers, and a last minute diving header from a hamstrung Alex, posing as an emergency I-can’t-run-anywhere striker, ensured that we ran out the winners.

Other notable events? The long awaited debut of Greek as an outfield player. Let’s just say that giving away a blatant penalty in your opening 10 seconds doesn’t bode well for your chances of remaining in the outfield (although subsequent performances have suggested that first impressions can indeed be misleading). The week preceding this game also saw the sad retirement of Dennis from the Economicals (although he has subsequently discovered himself while playing and dancing with the boys of the Economical thirds). Tonight, we’re all off to a club in Vauxhall for the retirement party (one of Drew’s recommendations), apparently it’s just like a medieval playground – it has slings and everything.

2 Ross Harkness  
3 Gav Russell  
4 Alex Simcox
5 Simon Rowlands  
6 Tom Stansfield
7 Gaz Russell  
8 Paul Taylor  
9 Neil Cooke
10 James Collyer
11 Drew Barrand  
12 Craig Harris  
13 Nick Demetriou  
17/11/07 Team     Old Tiffinians II 0 Economicals II 0
1 Riccles  

 

2 Ross Harkness  
3 Gav Russell  
4 Alex Simcox  
5 Simon Rowlands  
6 Tom Stansfield  
7 Gaz Russell  
8 Paul Taylor  
9 Neil Cooke  
10 James Collyer  
11 Drew Barrand  
12 Craig Harris  
13 Nick Demetriou  
24/11/07 Team     Economicals II 4 Old Wokingians II 1
1 Riccles  

After last week's drab draw, Drew’s Black and White Army turned out in force to get back to winning ways. It was the first time in the 07-08 season where Drew had to wield the axe to get down to 14 – apparently he couldn’t work out how to turn it on himself as Drew turned out and pushed himself to an unprecedented two consecutive weeks of 90 minutes. Not only that – he also managed to get laid on the past two consecutive Fridays. Is there life in the old Silver fox yet?

The Comics were simply too strong for the mid-table opposition. With The Anvil (Gaz) winning every header at the back and the Bulldozers applying the pressure upfront, the first half was closely contested with the Comics gifting the opposition a weak equaliser after Cookie had performed wonders to stretch out a leg and beat the advancing keeper after heading the ball through. The second half illustrated the benefit of strength in depth as Beast, Will and Rossi replaced Craig, Stanners and Si. This like-for-like substitution in terms of quality (with the exception of Si who is dog poo), and fresh legs against tiring opposition, provided the galvanising effect as the Comics simply pressed on the gas and turned over the opposition. A push in the penalty area resulted in a penalty which Gav coolly slotted home for an early second half 2-1 lead. Will he outlast his brother as the team’s penalty taker? Seems likely, given the hash that was made of the job by The Anvil, who really ought to stick to what he is good at – headbutting and bouts of tourettes.

The pressure mounted, with the Comics looking dangerous on all set pieces throughout the game, and two more goals duly flowed in. The first was an audacious attempt by Drew to head the ball in from 20 yards, which thankfully skewed to Will to nod home, while the fourth was a simple set piece – Corner from Gav, Header by Harry (this will be available on tee shirts at all good stockists in the Spring. With other results going our way at the weekend, the AFC Division 3 (South) league title is once more our own destiny.

2 Nick Demetriou  
3 Gav Russell
4 Craig Harris  
5 Simon Rowlands  
6 Tom Stansfield  
7 Gaz Russell  
8 Harry Stoakes
9 Neil Cooke
10 James Collyer  
11 Drew Barrand  
12 Will Taylor
13 Ross Harkness  
14 Paul Beaton  
01/12/07 Team     Old Dorkingians II 2 Economicals II 2
1 Riccles  

‘How is this a London league?!’ cried the battle-weary Economicals as they journeyed out of the Principal City, through England’s great pastures, past stars, moons and solar systems before arriving in the foreign world of Dorking; a quant parallel land of thatched roofs, dwarves and Care Bears. With the league waiting to be taken to task, the Economicals put in a mediocre performance with a particularly inadequate second half, which left them questioning their aspirations to win the title. A flurry of chances in the first half (that should have put the game beyond doubt) were squandered by Ankle of Glass and other protagonists, before Cook of No-teethery stretched one of his chicken legs - an accurate comparison when compared to his bloated body – to force the ball past their strangely-moustachioed keeper. 1-0 to the Comics. The Economicals continued to be in control throughout the first half, aided by the exit of He Who Shall Not Be Named who needed to call [THE FOLLOWING TEXT HAS BEEN REMOVED] about [THE FOLLOWING TEXT HAS BEEN REMOVED] and [THE FOLLOWING TEXT HAS BEEN REMOVED]. In the last minutes of the first half, the first of defensive set piece f*ck ups saw one of the Care Bears score unmarked from their first corner of the game. 1-1. Gaz, Rossi, Craig & Greek – you w*nkers.

The opposition obviously did a succession of care bear stares at half-time, starting the second half as the superior side, forcing the jittery Comics further and further back into their half. Another set-piece, again unmarked, saw the opposition go 2-1 up. Oh dear. Gaz, Rossi, Craig & Greek – ditto the comment above. However, the Comics’ fighting spirit told as they forced their way back into the game. Drew – having done his best Mr Invisible Man impression for much of the game – reminded everyone of his ability 30 years ago, with a turn and toe-peck into the bottom left hand corner for a just-about deserved equaliser. Then in the final minutes, a delightful Steed-esque foray down the right from the Hatchett left Ankle of Glass with a one on one which he proceeded to blast down the keepers neck when anything else would have a resulted in a very fortunate 3-2 away victory. Can he really throw away Man of the Season at this late juncture? Some fool who threw himself on the tracks on the way home, a few ales in some horrid town on the way back to London, a lot of vodka, and some sausage and mash in the Swan at 5am rounded off a rather disappointing day. Roll on next week.

2 Nick Demetriou  
3 Gaz Russell  
4 Craig Harris  
5 Ross Harkness  
6 Tom Stansfield  
7 Gav Russell  
8 Harry Stoakes  
9 Neil Cooke  
10 James Collyer
11 Drew Barrand
12 Will Taylor  
13 Paul Taylor  
14 Paul Beaton  
15/12/07 Team     Old Suttonians IV 0 Economicals II 0
1 Riccles  

A cancelled game on the 8th meant our final game pre-Christmas should have been an easy away win against mid-table opposition, followed by our Xmas hat party and all round good natured tomfoolery. This proved not to be the case. The above scoreline does not lie. In fact it tells very little. A more accurate description would be a series of questions:

1) how did Alex Simcox (having put in an otherwise stella performance) manage to be skinned by their Jabba the Hut striker?

2) how did Craig – swinging his misaligned legs in all directions – manage to deflect the ball past Riccles?

3) how did Alex still get awarded man of the match? 

I don’t even want to write this report I’m that disappointed. For the first time this season players were praying to get off at half time because of the sheer mediocrity of the game. They had one chance, scored and won. We had about 7 shots, didn’t force a save, and lost. The game was only note-worthy because of Beasts transition from worst player in the first half to best player in the second half (if only he could now learn to keep the ball down), and Healy’s welcome return to the fold after his 6 month sabbatical to Basra, now looking like a deflated Gordon Ramsey, covered in Alsatian poo, and then left to bake in the sun for 7 and a half days. His deft touches, if passed down to the Bulldozers, may assist us in picking up some much needed points in the final run in to the season.

Having trudged off the pitch, we locked our disappointment away, and proceeded onto our Xmas Hat party around the choice venues of Balham. All squad members were present and correct except one, who knows who he is and ought to be ashamed, and a damn fine night was had by all. Particularly praise must go to DT and his melon head, and Simon; who managed to look like a 50 year old woman / Papa Lazarus dressed in drag. ‘You’re my wife now Dave’. Now did Simon say that or was that Lindsay C? I can see her now, greased up dildo in hand, ‘oh Dave… say hello to my little friend’…. ‘oh, shucks, hi, do be careful with my sensitive side’.

2 Simon Rowlands  
3 Gav Russell  
4 Paul Taylor  
5 Alex Sincox  
6 Will Taylor  
7 Gaz Russell  
8 Harry Stoakes
9 Neil Cooke
10 Paul Beaton  
11 Drew Barrand  
12 Craig Harris  
13 Dave Tanner  
14 Jez Healy