Injuries, holidaying would-be lotharios, and an inability to convert possession into anything like clear chances had left the 3rds with the need to go on a four-game winning streak to stand any chance of promotion. There seemed more chance of Ricky turning up to a game than such a scenario. Despite the uphill nature of the challenge, Comics set about their task with gusto holding their own against a strong Wandsworth side to go in at halftime goalless. With new recruit Beast adding some bite to midfield and the defence holding up well, Comics then proceeded to defy the odds with a 10 minute spell in the second half that was easily the best passing football of the season. Paul Taylor sent the team on its way when his deflected shot from 25 yards out bemused the keeper to nestle in the corner of the net. Defying belief and a nose bleed, Taylor then proceeded to add a second – and equal his previous best goal tally for an entire season – after being sent clear by a defence-splitting pass from Drew. Clearly rejuvenated by the youthful exuberance of the players around him, Captain Kavanagh then proceeded to finally break his season duck, knocking home Cooke’s cross from two yards out. More could have followed but for two brilliant saves from the oppo keeper from Cooke, who’s all-round contribution merited a place on the scoresheet. And so the 3rds roll on with promotion still in their grasp and chants of ‘we don’t need Gav Russell’ ringing in supporters’ ears.

The 3rds entered the last game of the season – a double-header at fortress Berrylands – knowing that six points would give them a fighting chance of promotion despite one of the most inconsistent seasons on record. Despite missing Healy to a paper cut to his thumb, the Russell twins working on their rosy complexion in the Med, and Dave Tanner tending to his girlfriend in Manchester , the Comics seemed bizarrely confident. Much like an intricate chess match, the first half produced little of note with both sides cancelling each other out although the withdrawal of Stanners due to injury seemed to make the Comics’ cause even harder. Come the second half though and the Comics stepped up a gear – first Cooke rammed home after a corner produced confusion in the box and then Drew rolled back the years with a sublime curling effort after being set free by new recruit Beast who was living up to his name in the middle of the park. Now completely in control, Comics added to their goal difference after Will broke down the left and whipped a cross in which was met by Jimmy on the half volley for a 3-0 lead. Knowing another 60 minutes beckoned, the Comics were content to sit back on their lead and conserve energy levels which in the case of most was more of a necessity than eating. The second game saw Comics go into the must-win game with only one sub and tiredness levels which made them look like they’d just been on one of Gav Russell’s all-night sessions. Despite the ragged nature, the team started brightly, clearly buoyed by the 3-0 result of the preceding game. All this brightness, however, was quickly doused when Old Man Barrand proceeded to live up to his reputation of being unable to put the ball in the net from four yards out. Having broken away down the right, Cooke’s good work in squaring for Kavanagh to put into the empty net went begging as the silver-haired invalid once again thumped the ball high and wide when it would have been easier to hit the net. With hope fading fast and heads dropping due to tiredness and frustration, it took a moment of individual magic to save the old man’s blushes. Last year’s player of the season, Will Taylor stood up to the plate going on a rampaging run down the left before squaring for Jimmy to slot into an empty net to put the Comics ahead. In falling to the ground as he crossed, the pocket dynamo succeeded in breaking his finger in dramatic style with the snap believed to have been heard in nearby New Malden. On the plus side, the subsequent visit to the hospital allowed Stanners to stock up on his drug cabinet, his willingness to take Taylor to Epsom General proving not to entirely stem from the milk of his human kindness. The Comics held on with ten men to bag the necessary six points and leave them full of hope of promotion. It was not to be however, as Old Sutts won their remaining two games to go up on a goal difference one better than the Comics. While glaring eyes turned on Dennis’ absentism and Kavanagh’s inability to score open goals, in truth the inconsistency of the season hardly merited a move up a level.